Hoof to the Head
by Snowflake the Pegasus
Summary: Snowflake learns Ti Kawn Leep.


This is purely a work of fiction. All copyrights belong to their owners. I claim nothing.

This is my version of the song; Boot To The Head - The Frantics scribed by Maiko Covington, Steven Parks, & Jeff Morris. **Boot To The Head** LP/CS/CD - Attic Records LAT 1232, 1987P

"Approach, students. Close the circle at the hooves of the master. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of Ti Kwan Leep. But, be warned: To learn its ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul. Let us meditate upon this wisdom now. So: Aaaaaaooooommm..." Nightshade said as he stepped into the middle of the room.

Uh, sir! Sir! (oo! oo!) Sir!" Snowflake called.

_"_Who disturbs our meditation, as a pebble disturbs the stillness of the pond?" Nightshade responded while cracking one yellow eye open.

**"**Me! Snowflake!"

"S-Snowflake?"

**"**Yeah, uh, no disrespect or nothin', but, like, uh, how long is this gonna  
>take?"<p>

**"**Ti Kwan Leep is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon."

"So like, what, an hour or so?" Snowflake asked.

"No, no, we have not even begun upon the path. Snowflake, you must learn patience."

**"**Yeah yeah yeah, patience. How long will that take?"

**"**Time has no meaning. To a true student, a year is as a day."

**"**A YEAR? I wanna beat ponies up right now! I got the pajamas! Hah woo yah ooomm!" Snowflake yelled.

**"**Beat ponies up"...?

**"**Yeah! Just show me all those nifty moves so I can start trashing bozos! That's all I came here for! YO ASTA STA STA! Pretty good, eh?"

**"**The only use of Ti Kwan Leep is self-defense. Do you know who said that? Ki Lo Ni, the great teacher."

**"**Yeah? Well the best defense is a good offense, you know who said that? Mel, the cook on "Alice". Snowflake said with a smug look.

**"**No, um...Ti Kwan Leep is the wine of purity, not the vinegar of hostility. Meditate upon this truth with us. Aaaaoooommm..." Nightshade said as he began to mediate.

"Listen, shrimp! Now, are you gonna show me some fancy moves, or am I gonna start wapin' the walls with you?" Snowflake growled.

"Snowflake, you fail to grasp Ti Kwan Leep. Approach me that you might see."

"All right! Finally some action!"

"Observe closely, class. Hoof to the Head! (SH-ZOOMP!)

"Owww! You bucked me in the head!" Snowflake yelled drunkenly.

"Your are lucky, Snowflake. Few novices experience so much of Ti Kawn Leep so soon." Nightshade said.

"Ow, oh, my head!" Snowflake said to himself quietly.

"Now we continue. Aaaaaoooommmm..." Nightshade began mediating once again.

"Hey! Hey, I wasn't ready! Come and get me now shorty, hum? Come on, are ya chicken?" Snowflake taunted.

"Hoof to the head! (SH-ZOOMP!)

"Oww! Okay, now I'm ready, Okay, now, come on, try it now." Snowflake said drunkenly again.

"Hoof to the head" (SH-ZOOMP!)

"Mind if I just lie down here for a minute?"

"Now class, we shall return to our..." Nightshade began.

"Master?" Shamrock called.

"It is wrong to tip the vessel of knowledge, student." Nightshade sighed.

"Many apologies, master. But I feel Snowflake is not wholly wrong."

"What do you mean?" Nightshade asked with a puzzled look.

"I want to hoof some head, too."

"Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Snowflake?"

"Yes, master. I have learned two things. First, that anger is a weapon only to one's opponent."

"Very good." Nightshade smiled.

"And secondly, get in the first shot. Hoof to the head. (SH-ZOOMP!)

"You missed."

"Uh, yeah. Well..."

"You too shall be honored to learn a lesson..."

"You don't have to, you know. I-I gotta be going..."

"Hoof to the head! (SH-ZOOMP!)

"Oyyy oy oyyyy... Oh" Shamrock moaned in agonizing pain.

"Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here?"

"Uh, yes, master. Not a single one of us could defeat you." Lilly called.

"You gain wisdom, child."

"So we'll hafta gang up on ya! Get 'im guys!"

"Hoof to the head's! Hoof to the head's! Hoof to the head's! (SH-ZOOMP! SH-ZOOMP! SH-ZOOMP!)

Nightshade gaszed around the room at most of his students laying on the floor moaning in pain, "And now class, let us rejoin the mind to the body and gaze into the heart of the candle in meditation."

"Aaaaaoooommm..." The class moaned.

"Very good, class."

The end! Hope you liked it!


End file.
